Some Older Thoughts on Adoption (circa 2006)

It’s not often that I find myself agreeing with the Material Girl.  For instance, she sports ridiculously cone-shaped bras, I prefer something a tad more discreet.  She prefers vogue- the dance move, I read Vogue- the magazine.  However, recently I found myself thinking, “Madonna, you have got it right!”

Madonna has been in the headlines of late.  In and of itself, that is not at all newsworthy.  But for those readers recently returning from Antarctica or awakening from a coma I will note that this time, the scandal has not been her criticisms of the Roman Catholic church or her over-the-top sexuality, rather it has been this: Madonna and her husband, Guy Ritchie, have adopted a boy from Malawi.

Malawi is a land-locked nation in southeastern Africa; it ranks among the world’s least-developed countries.  A 2003 estimate shows that over 14% of the population is living with HIV/AIDS.  The CIA World Factbook states, “Increasing corruption, population growth, increasing pressure on agricultural lands, and the spread of HIV/AIDS pose major problems for the country.”  Succinctly put, Malawi is not a land with a great deal of hope. 

Madonna is helping to fund an orphanage in Malawi and the decision to adopt presumably resulted from this involvement.  However it may have happened, the singer became aware of a one-year-old boy, David Banda, who was put into the orphanage’s care by his father when his (David’s) mother died of malaria (in Malawi, childcare is a traditionally female role).  Madonna and her husband proceeded with the adoption, receiving permission directly from the government- foreigners are not generally allowed to adopt Malawi children.  The Ritchies returned to their London home and several days later when David Banda left to join them the controversy was in full swing.

Why the controversy?  There are claims that the Ritchies received special treatment and permission from the government because of their celebrity.  Others have accused Madonna of using this adoption as a publicity stunt of sorts, attempting to capture some of the attention received by fellow celebrities such as Angelina Jolie in her high-profile adoptions.  Critics have complained that Madonna did not select a “real orphan” as the boy’s father is still alive.  More criticism comes claiming that Madonna is so rich that if she wanted to, she could have easily provided financial security for David while leaving him in his homeland.

Aren’t we forgetting about someone here?  He is a small boy and is name is David Banda.  He has left a place with no hope and no future.  Now he will have enough food to eat.  Now he will have clean water.  Now he will have access to medical care.  Now he will have a mother and father and a sister and brother.  Now he will have a home.  If even one child is rescued and given hope, isn’t that a good thing?

My first introduction to adoption came in the form of my best friend from girlhood- Jenifer Hager.  Jenifer was adopted while her parents were on a military assignment in India.  Jenifer had been left in the “Baby Tree” outside an orphanage run by Roman Catholic nuns (alas, this practice was fairly common, hence the name for the tree).  Mrs. Hager volunteered at the orphanage; through her work there, she met Jenifer and the family proceeded to adopt her (the Hagers had two teenage children).  More recently, my sister and her husband added a son to their family through adoption.  John was born in Latvia.  He was abandoned by his teenage mother and was found wandering the streets, fighting with a dog for food.  (He was two-and-a-half at the time.  And did I mention it was winter?)  This sister and her family are in the midst of a second adoption, this time of an infant girl from Kyrgyzstan.  The little girl, whose has been diagnosed as deaf, will be the first special needs adoption out of the country.

There are so many people who have had their lives blessed by adoption.  Their homes have been opened, their families grown and their love increased.  They have done a good thing.

Recently I heard of a comment made by a man involved with a foundation for foreign adoption.  He was speaking to a group about adoption and said plainly that adoption is not for everyone.  However, he noted, that God calls us to, “to look after orphans and widows in their distress,” (James 1.27).  God tells us this, the man explained, because He knows that if we do this, our hearts will be moved and we would be compelled to care for them.  Sounds to me like this is what happened to Madonna.

So I will end with this- good on Madonna for adopting little David.  Good on Mr & Mrs Hager for welcoming Jenifer to their family thirty years ago.  Good on Sarah & Bill for taking in John, and on all the Wainscotts as they make room in their lives for this new child.  Good on Jennifer and Dano as they work to make adoption more accessible for many here in the US and for their little daughter Li-Yian.  Good on Peet and Jenny for going to Russia and bringing home Mae.  Good on Robert and Mindy for waiting and waiting and finally bringing Ellie home.  So many lives bettered and blessed.